Why Everything We Sell Ends Up on the Floor

Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.