Gift Guide: Things They Will Ignore

Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a warehouse mostly made of boxes.

Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Experts agree that a returns policy enforced by staring is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.