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Category: Product Notes
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Announcing Our Loyalty Program (Treats Required)
Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a loyalty program that pays in headbutts.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a shipping department located under the couch is not a bug. It is the product.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
The old guard prefers a loyalty program that pays in headbutts. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.
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Why Everything We Sell Ends Up on the Floor
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.
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Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes
Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a warehouse mostly made of boxes.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a returns policy enforced by staring is not a bug. It is the product.
As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.