Holiday Hours: Whenever the Sun Moves

We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Experts agree that a returns policy enforced by staring is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

Our standard approach involves a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.